You're Triggered at Mealtimes
You’re just mothering through what no one helped you name.
It’s not about the second helping. It’s about the part of you that never learned to feel safe around food.
It wasn’t her second helping of mac and cheese that triggered me.
Not really.
It was the way she asked—without hesitation.
The way she trusted that there would be enough.
The way she moved through the world with an appetite that hadn’t yet been shamed.
And something inside me... panicked.
I didn’t yell.
I just said something like “let’s save room” or “maybe start with one serving.”
My tone sharpened ever so slightly—just enough to shift the air between us.
She looked up, confused. And I felt it immediately:
That hot flush of shame crawling up my chest.
Not because what I said was terrible…
But because I knew where it came from.
It didn’t come from my wise self.
It came from a younger part of me—the one who was praised for shrinking, for saying no when she wanted more, for being a “good girl” at the table.
I didn’t plan to react that way. But there it was—automatic, familiar, old.
If you’ve ever felt that surge of reactivity during a mealtime moment—and couldn’t quite explain why—you’re not alone.
That moment cracked something open in me. It showed me just how deep shame can permeate our lives, even years into recovery.
Motherhood has a way of digging up food wounds we thought we’d buried.
And sometimes, the appetite that scares us the most… isn’t our child’s—it’s our own.
These aren’t just parenting moments. They’re recovery moments, too.
In this week’s video, I’m sharing what I wish someone had told me years ago about what’s really happening when our kids trigger our food fears—and how to move through those moments with more compassion and less shame.
We’ll talk about:
– Why these reactions happen (even years into recovery)
– How to soften before spiraling
– What it looks like to break the cycle gently, not perfectly
🎥 Watch the full reflection here →
And if you want something more concrete to support you at the table, I created the Food & Body Scripts Guide—a gentle toolkit with phrases, reframes, and guidance to help you respond with clarity when the moment catches you off guard.
💛 Grab the guide here to start replacing silence, shame, or second-guessing with something more grounded—and more healing.
You don’t have to fix everything overnight.
But you can take one small, brave step toward healing, for both of you.
I’m so glad you’re here.
—Crystal
P.S. Have you ever felt unexpectedly triggered by your child’s eating?
What helped you move through it—or what do you wish you’d had in that moment?
Hit reply and tell me, or comment below—I read every note. 💌